Forlorn and Lonely Garden

My forlorn and lonely garden sits midway between our home and the pool. In as much as we moved here in the late summer nothing was done to the garden last year so it patiently rests waiting for loving hands and sore backs to come to its aid and rescue.

I can only imagine what my pitiful, lonesome garden dreams about for its future; fragrant bushes of rosemary and sweet stems of bright green basil, tall multicolored snap dragons lifting your eyes to the abundant purple butterfly bushes and long flowing stems of a single yellow forsythia set in the background. Dark red bark replaces the ugly black that is there now and grape vines crawl up the wrought iron fence and spread their arms wide. Rows of pink and white petunias line up like toy soldiers along the borders and cinnamon colored begonias encircle the tree. Old bricks define the many herbs and bits of moss and ferns peep out from behind the barren rocks. Pots are set randomly around chocked full of spiky plants, ivies and vibrant red geraniums. A newly purchased red umbrella will shade that which the sun hits too harshly and chairs with soft yellow cushions call for company.

The garden knows how much work this will take but thankfully it is patient, calm and composed. It will wait for the spring days to warm a bit. I, on the other hand, am impatient so I have drawn a map of gorgeous days to come. I have detailed on paper what my garden sees as its future. Together, we will make a great team. I can't wait!

My Savior

Sometimes I don’t feel very well acquainted with myself. I feel somewhat like a lost soul. I’m not sure whether it has anything to do with depression or if it is born from dreams I've had during the night. Maybe it is the quiet life I lead due to poor health and late middle age.

None the less, this disparaging sensation saddens me and makes me want to just get into bed and search my mind for what my life was before now. Very little stops me from doing this. It is almost like an addiction to crawl under the covers when I feel lost. The question I ask myself is “Who am I and where am I going?” The answers are few and far between and my responses are hazy. Although the act of doing this crawling in to bed thing is essential to my well being, it helps little. There is, however, a solution to this giant and uncomfortable feeling. It is a visit from my brother, Richard.

Guy, my husband, says he loves to hear me laugh when Richard is here. I think those chuckles are me finding myself again! I begin to remember where I came from and who I have become. Just being in the same room with Richard can ease my empty ache. It’s not that we talk about the past so much as we talk about things that matter. He keeps my mind busy and I hang onto his every comical word. He has a brilliant sense of humor enjoyed by all who meet him. I lighten up when I am with him. He’s like a gigantic shot of fast acting antidepressant. Richard makes me feel needed and important. He shares his new utube finds, tells me his latest jokes and he recites his most recent antics. He hugs me and he holds me.

Richard is coming today and his timing is excellent. My hollow heart needs his companionship. I know I still have a lot to offer. I just need Richard here to remind me.

Thanks so much for coming, Richard. Thank you for being my savior. 

An Angel Tulip

From a book I once read called The Angel Book by Karen Goldman, I found a 

short, concise phrase I have always particularly liked.

“Angels are reminders of what we’re really here for.”

Because my dear kind Father so loved tulips, I see in them angels reminding me of why I am here. Their charming petals flow from the stem like lovely wings of many colors. They have a soft sheerness and an everlasting calmness that put me immediately at ease. They flop and play, as angels do in my mind, and they bring upon my often sad face a gentle smile of remembrance.

We always took tulips to my Dad when he was in his last days at the hospital. He would light up and for just a moment I would think he was well. They made him childlike as he would laugh and speak of them as friends.

I never knew why he so loved them. That has remained one of those questions I wish I had asked of him. Isn't it strange how something so important to me now was so unimportant then?

I know he is looking down upon our orange tulips on the dining room table. I look at them and they most certainly remind me why I am here; to attempt to set the same exemplary example he set for all of us. He was loving, kind, intelligent, funny, well read but most of all his love for his fellow man was bar none. 

I’m trying Dad, but you’re a tough act to follow!

I miss you, Poppy! 

iPad Babies Vs. Crocodile and Shark

When was the last time you watched a 2 year old baby operate an iPad? Well, if your answer is never you would be in for the most amazing sight ever. I don’t know about the majority of 63 year olds, but the new iPad we just bought intimidates the living daylights out of me! It reminds me of the first smart phone I ever owned; I don’t trust it. In my mind, it’s smarter than I am!

This all comes to mind because my dear Grandchildren were visiting last night and Owen, who is 2, entertained himself for at least an hour using the iPad. I watched in utter amazement as he instinctively pressed the right buttons to get where he wanted to be. When he tired of a game he knew exactly what to do to get to another one. He was fast, too. His fingers flew over the screen like lightening. A mistake never bothered him and his attention span was utterly unbelievable.

His Mom told me he learned how to do this from watching Samuel who is 5! Imagine a 5 year old teaching a 2 year old how to operate an iPad! It blows me away!

I eventually tried to play the Lego game and failed miserably. How humiliating! A huge part of me makes me very proud and grateful. I am glad they are so astute. The competition in the world is going to be rough for them and their computer skills will be mandatory even in kindergarten. I was happy though to see them put the iPad down and begin to play cars and super heroes and crocodile and shark with their Peepaw Guy! I guess considering the three generations involved it was a well rounded evening with entertainment from all levels. But, my favorite was the crocodile and shark tussle!! That was just plain fun!